Genesis

All stories have beginning, my blog shall not be an exception. The beginning of this Blog is sorrow. Simple word, "Sorrow", yet the most painful feeling. Sorrow is sadness. Sorrow is when u r sad, alone & emptiness. The worse thing is, it is silent. U will suffer without anyone knowing. U suffer in this emotion prison alone. U will shout, no man will hear. U will speak, no man will understand. This is the sorrow I am toking abt.

It had been days, weeks or months? I forgotten. Everyday in the prison seems the same. Same 4 walls wif all ur happy moment craved on it. Same bars tat have words of sad moment on it. It is dark and there is no different between day & night. I will lie on the hard cold bed, facing the walls. I will laugh when i saw tat happy times. I saw tat beautiful smile when he is playing wif his younger brother. I saw his back, full of confidence when he receive awards on stage. I heard the voice of a leader tat teaches and guides ppl. I saw the him happily deeply in love wif his lover. He enjoys every stages of his life. Since his birth he leads a life full of joy, pride, confidence, love. and I wispered softly ...Matthias.. It is me. I noe tat voice, tat face. It is me....

I stood up. Walked right to the bars. thinking to break free yet I saw... my sad moment. Broken relationships. Shattered Family. Unforsee future. I am lost. Emptiness haunts me. Friends who had left me. My love tat had forsaken me. My family tat broke and shattered like glass. My future which is so dark and unknown. It is saddness, disappointment, emptiness & lost became a voice... tat echoed among the 4 walls. In my mind. I teared. Run back to my bed and hid my face. I shouted. I lunged out all my despair. Yet all tat is wif me is tears.

I hid to one corner and turn my face away. But each day, I will still see the 4 walls and the cycle repeats itself... No one noes... No one hears the cry for my soul is imprisoned in the mind...

"This blog is written in the prison..."